Being Proactively Reactive
The words Proactive and Reactive are opposites and to put them together would seem to be an oxymoron. The whole notion of being proactive is to mitigate having to be reactive in business decisions, personal relationships and just about all things we are involved in.
Being proactive is not easy and requires a constant awareness of our context in all things we do. Being able to manage the macro and micro gives us the edge to look ahead, think ahead and be proactive and reach success in whatever the endeavor may be.
On the other hand, being reactive can be effective at times, but it requires us to be in Covey’s Quadrant 1 of seemingly putting out fires at all times. Being reactive without awareness of our context makes us weak, less effective and at times regretful of our actions. Invariably, we land up in the mode of “what if I had….?”
So, now let’s put these 2 words together to create a mindful oxymoron: Proactively Reactive. Being proactive in managing your reactions is the coolest thing ever! Wouldn’t it be so awesome if we could always react in a manner that keeps us happy and content and not unhappy and regretful? So, do we have a window between the situation we are in and the moment we react? It all seems so quick and sudden…how in the heck is there even a second in between?
Well, let’s break this down. I’m on a plane about to take off. I hear the loud cry of a baby. That is the first step of cognition. I cognize that a baby is crying. We immediately add our personal twist to that cognition and thus we have recognition. I recognize that a baby crying is not good and that high pitch sound is going to be painful for the entire flight. Then we immediately react! I react with my neck tightening, my cortisol levels rising and me feeling stressed over something that I cannot control or do anything about! And there goes another wasted moment of evolution and another window that I could not get through.
A baby crying is a phenomenon that happens in nature with all living beings. When a baby is born and you hear that first crying sound from that new born, the parents and everyone in the delivery room shed a sigh of relief and are in jubilation that the baby is normal. What! A baby that cries is normal? Well, heck yeah! Then why is it that the same baby crying once it’s 4 months old on a plane is so terrible? My recognition leads to my reaction and that leads me to feeling unwell for that entire flight. Does the baby realize what it’s doing? Do I realize what I am doing even though I am so educated and older and wise and all! What’s the darn difference then? I might as well start crying loudly too! Of course, I would be asked to deplane or get arrested for making a racket once I land. The baby would have slept and would be in great cheers delighting it’s parents and all the other passengers with it’s cute smile and giggles!
There is a small window between recognition and reaction that if we can catch by being proactive, all will end well ALWAYS! It takes effort, it takes awareness, it takes focus. Remember, the Mindful-CPA definition of Mindfulness is the Art of Focus with Complete Awareness. Mindfulness practiced on a regular basis will lead us to see that awesome window we can climb through and then react in a proactive way with complete control, complete happiness and subtle equanimity.
Being Proactively Reactive could be your new tool you can add to your toolkit. Being a leader, a manager, a parent, a sibling, a teacher, an individual contributor is not easy these days. How about this new tool and way of thinking? Visualize that window regularly that you can climb through and then….
Be Proactively Reactive.